A page from my personal diary

    Ah!...I'm bored" that's how I started off  my day...I'm a person who loves to b alone...but that day wasn't  the same..I was feeling horrible....I had a missing feeling in me but couldn't really figure out why or what I miss...I knew I had to distract myself doing something...so thought of reading some magazines...alas!! that didn't really work...then I thought why not spent some time with my doggie...but there again he was so lazy ...I got so bugged with myself and everything....I called up one of my friends thinking that would help me...but unfortunately that didn't because she was  busy fighting with her boy friend...pheww..!!! 


    Finally...I came up with my last idea...listening to music... unusually that day I was in a mood to listen some hard rock...but again things kept on pushing the limit of  my patience...because this time I can’t find my headphones...grrr..!!! it was then I noticed a DVD...”Sundays at Tiffany's"...woah..!! As I can’t find my headphones...now I shifted my idea to watch this movie...it was a movie based on a book by James Patterson...it’s about a girl called Jane and her imaginary friend Michael...who appears back after 20yrs to warn Jane the path her life is on..Initially shocked and in disbelief... Jane slowly realizes that not only has Michael returned to her when she needs him most... but he may also be her one true love....


         While I was watching this movie I was reminded about my imaginary friend.....I don't know when onwards I had him with me...but he played a major role in my childhood fantasies....we were the best buddies...he liked all what I liked...he loved talking to me.. .playing with me...and I used to share all my secrets with him...but when I grew up...things changed...he slowly faded away....or I should say i never bothered to get back to him...


      After a long gap..I decided to meet my imaginary friend again but by then he completely faded off from that realm of imagination...i tried hard to bring him back to my life...but couldn't find him...that's when i started writing letters to him....Whenever i feel like talking to him i scribbled it down in my diary...and each time i write a letter i feel like he is standing next to me and replying to me......Woah..!! When I think about all that... i feel so good...i don't remember how i stopped writing letters to him not like i found better friends than him...but was dissolved in the illusion of life...


          My long lost friend...i wish even you appear in my life one day like how Michael did in Jane's life.....!! But I'm still wondering how did that DVD got into my rack....I think that was a gift by you to make me feel better and to let me know that  you are still around me...watching my life and would make your entry at the right time!!!!

When she vanished

  "      I've been waiting for her but she never returned,its like she just vanished into thin air.Was feeling lonely...disheartened...and at the same time was starving to death.Unexpected visits of spiders and cockroaches scared the hell out of me.Finally i decided to get out of that spooky place.The moment I got out of my hole I realized i'm in that weird world my mom used to say slowly but carefully I started exploring the new world around me, it was strange and way beyond my imagination, the best part was I could smell food everywhere.  I kept moving,it was pitch dark, but wasn't scared this time because I remember my mother saying it is safe to be in dark.Suddenly the lights turned on, I freaked out, started running around and somehow figured my way under a cover but I was sure that I had attracted someones attention. I could feel a movement next to me 

          I kept silent as if i didn't exist. I waited there until it was dark again. My body grew weak I'm feeling tired,haven't eaten anything for long. Memories of my mother popped up,tears rolled up in my eyes,I have no clue why she left me all alone. It was dark again, carefully I came out and started off  with my journey in search of food. I could smell something really good, I kept following the smell and at last I found it. A small piece of cheese in a box.I ran into the box with so much of excitement  and picked up the cheese.But with an alarming noise the door shut. I'm trapped! But for what...? what did i do...? was just feeling hungry, I didn't hurt anyone.Why? Why am I trapped?

 Now I know how my mother vanished..! "

      "the world looks so fascinating and tempting but let me remind you there are traps anywhere and everywhere...so you better watch your steps" 

Friend for life till death

       0opz! I am late again.This time I am not worried about it because I know it’s the perfect time to let go all my pain...all my feelings...all my memories... forever. His mouth filled with poison entered into me breaking each layer of my skin and with immense pleasure I enjoyed him for the last time and like a devil it rushed into my vein;a feel of heaviness in my head,pain started throbbing in my nerves. 

               It was my craze that brought him to my life but slowly he possessed my heart and painted my days with delusion. Yes, I kissed the vicious lips of addiction...fell into his inescapable hands.That numbness spread into my blood and to my life.

           Complicated life kept on confusing me and left me with embarrassment and bewilderment. And like a rescuer, he came again inducing a streak of wildness and took me to another realm where I lost myself in the halo of hallucination.The light of realization struck me late. But by then I was caught in the evil web beautifully woven by fate. I wished I could go back. There I saw him again wearing the hat of a life saver, started pumping my veins, this time not with drugs but with medicines. He tried hard to bring me back to life but I was stuck in the afterglow of illusion. 

            Flashes of memories passing by like a film reel. Who knew a silly syringe can change life upside down. Here I am with no hopes waiting for that moment of stillness. I knew only he can redeem me form this sickening life.There were days I used to swirl in pleasure but now I am in pain, ready to face death. I can feel death inching in me. My hands started weakening and I dropped him, my best worst friend. Like a free fall I fell down, I knew this is it!! 

For the last time I looked at the syringe which changed my life...